Ever feel like you’re wearing a mask (not the good kind that gives you glass skin) but the kind that hides who you really are? You’re not alone. Most of us have spent years, maybe even decades, living in a way that keeps us safe, accepted, and successful ignoring that nagging voice inside that whispers, This isn’t really me.
So, what’s stopping us from being our authentic selves? And more importantly, how do we fix it?
1. Fear of Judgment (a.k.a. What Will People Think?!)
We’re social creatures, and society has “rules” a some of them useful, others just straight-up restrictive. The fear of being judged by family, friends, coworkers, or even strangers on the internet can keep us stuck in roles that just don’t fit us.
How to Overcome It:
Ask yourself: Whose opinion actually matters? Your childhood best friend from summer camp? The neighbor who doesn’t even wave back? Nope.
Remember: People are too busy thinking about themselves to spend much time analyzing your choices.
Start small. Test out little acts of authenticity. That could be speaking up more, wearing what you actually like, or sharing an opinion you’d usually keep to yourself.
2. People-Pleasing (a.k.a. The Disease to Please)
Raise your hand if you’ve ever bent over backward to keep the peace, even when it crushed your own happiness. (Raises both hands.) People-pleasing can make you feel like a great friend, partner, or employee, but over time, it turns into self-abandonment.
How to Overcome It:
Practice saying “no” without an essay-length excuse. (“No, I can’t” a full sentence, I promise.)
Set boundaries and stick to them. If someone doesn’t respect them, that’s their problem, not yours. Don’t give in to the reactive response to lower them.
Ask yourself: If I disappoint them, will I survive? Spoiler: You will. And you will feel so much freer. It’s like working a muscle and it gets easier every time.
3. Perfectionism (a.k.a. “If it’s not perfect, I won’t even try”)
The need to be perfect before taking action is a fast track to never doing the things you actually want to do. Perfectionism isn’t about high standards, it’s about fear. Fear of failure, fear of looking stupid, fear of not being “good enough”.
How to Overcome It:
Embrace the messy middle. No one starts as an expert.
Remind yourself: Done is better than perfect. Start the blog, wear the bold outfit, launch the business - just do something.
Reframe failure as feedback. The more you mess up, the more you learn, and the closer you get to your true self.
4. The Comfort Zone Trap
Comfort zones feel safe, warm, and cozy. But you know what else lives there? Stagnation. Living on autopilot keeps you from discovering what actually makes you happy.
How to Overcome It:
Try something uncomfortable every day - speak up in a meeting, introduce yourself first, post that unfiltered opinion on social media.
Travel (even if it’s just to a new coffee shop). New places spark new perspectives.
Remember: Discomfort isn’t dangerous. It is just unfamiliar. And unfamiliar is where growth happens.
5. Old Labels and Expectations
Maybe you’ve been “the responsible one” your whole life. Or “the quiet one” or “the one who never takes risks”. We internalize these labels until they start running the show, even when they don’t fit anymore.
How to Overcome It:
Question the labels. Who gave them to you? Do they still apply? Do they help you become what you desire? If not, toss them.
Rewrite your narrative. Instead of telling yourself “I’m just not the type of person who ___,” say , “I’m becoming someone who ___.”
Give yourself permission to evolve. You’re allowed to be a completely different person than you were last years or even last week.
6. Waiting for the “Right” time.
You tell yourself, “I’ll be myself when…” When you get that job, when you move cities, when you hit a certain milestone. But waiting for the perfect time to be authentic is like waiting for permission that will never come.
How to Overcome It:
Realize that the right time is a myth. There’s only now.
Take micro-actions today that align with the real you. Even the smallest shifts count.
Accept that there’s no big moment where everything suddenly falls into place. Authenticity happens in the little choices you make every day.
Final Thoughts: You’re Already Enough
Being your authentic self isn’t a total life overhaul overnight. It’s about peeling back the layers of conditioning and choosing, day by day, to live in alignment with who you truly are.
Some people might not get it. Some might not like it. But the ones who matter? They’ll celebrate the real you.
And trust me, being real is a lot less exhausting than pretending.
Now, tell me: What’s one way you can step into your authentic self today?
Glow get it,
Kate